Once More

So weird to be back here... the years go on, and we're still fighting it ~Ben Folds - Still Fighting It

First, let me say that if you have the opportunity to road trip, even just for a couple hours, with Dee Dee, you should do it. Just tell her to meet you 30 minutes before you actually want to leave, but other than that, you two will have the most random conversations, both funny and serious, both stupid and thoughtful, the whole way. You won't even need to pop in any of the dozens of CDs you own to fill the silence. On top of that, she's a kind witness to humiliation.

Being back at Penn State is weird. I guess it's bound to be this way from now on? There's only a handful of people you still know; there are unfamiliar buildings popping up; there's the sense that this place no longer belongs to you. But, in a way, it will always belong to you: I will always own Sunday brunch at Redifer, 241 in Eagles Mere, rendezvous in or under the Life Sciences bridge, or at least the memories that go along with those things. And despite thinking that I'd be disappointed by this weekend's reunions because my expectations were so high, I ended up having a really terrific time during my last Blue-White weekend for a while. Never understimate the power of good hugs.

It's hard to say when I will next see many of my Penn State friends again (though I do know I will see the few still in State College over graduation weekend); without the anchor of home that I share with high school friends and anyone who may have happened to find a job in the Lehigh Valley, it will certainly require a lot more effort - or crazy random happenstances - to find ourselves in the same place with each other. It has recently really hit home that any friendship worth having requires effort, and I've come to believe that when people aren't willing to put in the effort (and I've been on both sides of this, so it's not just any residual bitterness talking), maybe it's time to just cash in your chips and say it was nice while it lasted.

Life goes on.