When I've been feeling stressed lately, I keep telling myself that summer is almost here. I am excited beyond words for it already. For the first half, I will be working on my thesis - and getting paid for it! - and [probably, if all works out] subletting a sweet apartment really close to campus. Cooking? Baking? More than one room to myself? (And most likely a television set?) Oh yes. And... studying for the LSAT, I imagine. Oh well, could be worse.
I've got a love-hate relationship going with my research, especially after today, because my slides for this one project ended up really wonky, so I'm now troubleshooting the whole procedure. I feel disappointed and disappointing, because my advisor wanted to have some results to include in a grant submission. But I think it will be refreshing to have whole days to devote to research in the summer, rather than a few hours between classes and meetings like I do now. We'll see if it makes me any more decisive about going to grad school...
The other half of summer will be spent working for Teach For America, which is something I am already pretty decisive about, but I am definitely looking to this experience to reinforce my desire to join TFA. (I have to qualify this with "if I'm accepted." Despite the fact that everyone I know tells me there's no way I won't be, the sky-rocketing application rate doesn't exactly instill lots of confidence, considering there's no way, especially in this economy, the acceptance rate can keep up.)
Anyway, I got placed at the New York City institute (aka summer training program for new corps members), which starts in late June, and I am stoked. Free room and board in a city I adore and a paycheck - plus six weeks of being around hundreds(?) of peers who are passionate about teaching and making a difference? Just thinking about that kind of positive energy will get me through these last couple weeks of school - and the residual positive energy will probably be what gets me through next semester. On the larger scale, I think - or at least, I hope - that the whole experience will give me a better idea of whether I'd like to eventually go into some field relating to education.
I've heard that Institute is pretty intense, so I know it's going to kick my ass, but I welcome that, because I know that anything worth doing requires hard work, and it will be fulfilling work, I'm sure. I'm guessing the days will be jam-packed, not so much time to chill, and I think we will be in Queens, which isn't exactly the hub of city life, but still: New York! It will be another chance to get an idea of city living, much like my time "in" Philadelphia, and I'll be able to see if I really want to do it later on, as I've been telling myself for so long. If we do have free time, I'm going to try to hit up some museums, because I've never been to any in NYC, if you can believe that! (Then again, it was only last year that I went to the Philadelphia Museum of Art for the first time.) You might also be able to find me playing Broadway lotteries or checking out indie musicians at classy little clubs and/or not-so-indie musicians on morning news show concerts series. I mean, who knows, maybe I'll even start my career as a bohemian writer...
Just thinking about working at Institute makes me giddy about actually applying to TFA in the fall.
I. Cannot. Wait.
As the first deadline slowly comes into focus (though it's still about five months away), it finally feels like my life is moving forward, this culmination of years of dreaming about helping underprivileged kids, not to mention the past year of serious work for TFA. I will not be continuing my recruitment work next year, for personal reasons, but I am very hopeful for a great group of Penn Staters to apply and get in (including myself, obviously). When it comes to social justice, can one be anything but hopeful?
While it hasn't escaped my attention that I often build up romantic expectations that fall short and fall apart, I am incredibly optimistic about this summer. Things are going to get off to a great start with the Keith Urban/Sugarland concert the Saturday after finals week. I can feel it... coming in the air tonight. (Totally out of context, I know, but it's Phil Collins, and that makes the random song-quoting/YouTube gorilla video-linking totally acceptable.)
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